January 18, 2016

To Love Someone


  It's easy to question yourself. Especially on matters of the heart. Especially on days when you feel like you have absolutely no idea what you're doing. It's easy to feel like you're not doing your best, or that maybe your best just isn't good enough. It's easy to feel deflated. Like you couldn't possibly give anymore. That there is most definitely someone out there who is better than you.

  That's the thing about love. It's so unpredictable. One minute you're completely head over heels for someone and the next, it's gone. Love is confusing. It's almost impossible to write about because you could never put into words how you truly feel. I'm not writing this because I'm no longer in love. No, in fact i'm quite madly in love. I wanted to write about the struggles people face with love. Or more importantly, the struggles people face within themselves when it comes to love.

  On the twenty-third of this month, Craig and I will celebrate nine years together. That's quite a feat for two people in their mid-twenties. Nine years and I can honestly say, without an ounce of doubt in my mind, that I am still completely in love. Although I often wonder how this is even possible.

  You can imagine during the last nine years we've had our fair share of arguments. Intense arguments. Arguments that lead to tears and others that lead to hugs. It's so easy to get caught up in life's stressful moments sometimes and take it out on the person you love. When does the person you love become your own personal punching bag? How does the person you love more than anything all of sudden become this being that you can so easily hurt? When in the beginning you could never imagine hurting them. Not even a little.

  These are the moments I struggle to understand. How can we go from wanting to tear one another's heads off, to missing their touch when they're not here? How can two people who love each other so much get on each other's nerves so easily? How can you want to be away from them but not want them to leave your side all at once?

   Because this is what it means to love someone.

  I guess what I wanted you to get from this post is that it can be so easy to question yourself. To feel like you're not trying hard enough. To feel like you're not entitled to feeling some great love because of your actions at times. But that's what love is; it's a whole mess of emotions. To feel angry with someone but to love them so fiercely you could never imagine not being with them. We're not making it fair on ourselves to even begin to try to understand it.

   So from this day on, i'm going to try not to bring myself down over petty arguments. I'm going to try not to feel terrible after I've been exceptionally cranky with him for no reason. Because I know it wont be long before we're holding each other and laughing over something silly. Because this is what it means to love someone.


14 comments:

  1. This was really beautiful and interesting to read, thank you sharing it <3

    Carolyn x
    Carolyn’s Simple Life

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  2. This was beautifully written. 9 years is such a long time. I have only been with R for 5 years, but I feel the same. Love can be everlasting.

    aroseisinbloom.blogspot.com

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    1. It certainly can be everlasting <3

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  3. Love is so amazing when you find it. Cherish it and find ways to make the bad things into something you can laugh about. It's truly amazing!

    Heba xx || The Heba

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  4. Great post! thanks for sharing:) Do you want to support each others blog by following each other? Please let me know so I can follow you right back:)

    xoxo
    www.theclosetelf.com

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  5. Congratulations on nine years together! That's great :) May there be many many many more to come. It's really easy to bring ourselves down and make ourselves feel small - I'm going to try and stop doing this too! Loved reading this post :)

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  6. Love is definitely a whole mess of emotions, mixed up and bundled up and they don't make any sense at all. I know exactly what you mean, it's just tough to put into words. :P

    I could go on and on about this to be honest... but I will just end this by saying this was a lovely post! And we all love differently. But love is love... definitely the most confusing emotion in the world lol

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    1. Oh you got that right! haha Definitely the most confusing of all feelings.

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