February 10, 2016

Sometimes I Wish Makeup Never Existed

Sometimes I have days where I just feel...ew. It doesn't happen too often thankfully because I think I would probably be severely depressed on a daily basis if that were the case. But I did have one of those days yesterday. All day I just felt ugly. Feels like such a harsh word to use but its true. I felt ugly. It was one of those days where work had been cancelled because of a snow storm so I didn't have to get ready for the day. I just lounged around and cleaned the apartment. It wasn't until Craig asked me to go for a drive with him that I gave myself a good look in the mirror and thought- ugh, I look terrible. At this time I started feeling pretty bad about myself. That was all it took. One look in the mirror at my naked face.

This really got me thinking about how easily it is to feel terrible about yourself. One look. One day. And I feel sad that like myself, there are so many other girls out there who feel the same way. Maybe they feel like this everyday.

I've decided that makeup plays a huge role in this. I now associate my bare, natural face with something that's far from perfect because i'm so used to having makeup on it making it look a little better. That I don't think I should even step into a store without makeup on because someone is going to look at me with disgust because I'm showing my natural look.

The funny thing is, I barely wear makeup. I wear a light foundation that usually looks like i'm not wearing anything. I just like having something on to even out my skin tone. Then i'll use a little concealer to try and hide my under eye circles (which have been a little worse lately since i've become slightly anaemic thanks to this pregnancy). But other than that I wear a little blush and thats it. Yet I feel naked without that little bit of product.

I think we all would have been better off without the invention of makeup. We never would have seen how our skin "could look" with a layer of foundation covering our imperfections. Heck, we probably wouldn't even consider them imperfections if society hadn't deemed it so. Everyone and their grandmother would have darkness around their eyes. You would never know how luscious your eyelashes could become with a little - or a lot of- mascara. We would just go about our days feeling content with the way we looked because that's as good as it would get!

*sigh* Unfortunately that's not the way the world is. I'll probably always feel a little better and more "put together" with a little makeup on but that doesn't mean I shouldn't work on loving myself more. I think I need to go out into the world more with nothing on my face and learn to accept it and be okay with it. And for anyone else who feels like me from time to time, I think you should too! To start off my new journey of self appreciation, i'm going to be brave and post a photo of me au naturel. & i'm okay with it :)


10 comments:

  1. Okay I agree with this so much haha. I have been super sick lately, so of course haven't been wearing my normal makeup, and I have hated to look into the mirror because I look so tired! Makeup can be so much fun, but it definitely plays a huge part in the vicious cycle of feeling like we need to wear it in order to be pretty. Such a great post, and I hope all is going well with your pregnancy! :) Also, you look just as pretty without makeup! :)

    xx
    Kendra | Stnkrbug

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    1. Yes, totally! It would be nice not to rely on makeup so much haha! :)

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  2. It was a really good read and it got me thinking. I get your point of a world without makeup, but I feel it's actually down to the parents. My mom never wore a lot of makeup. She never, ever, used foundation or powder or anything like that and taught me to love who I am; and the way I look.

    Today I am a lot like my mom, but then again i'm not. I looove makeup. Love. But I don't wear it everyday, I wear it when I feel like it. When I feel like being playful. I think our relationship to makeup comes down to what and how we are raised, truthfully. Today for example all I wore was mascara, I didn't feel like more. Yesterday I wore nothing. I like my face with and without makeup. I love how makeup can transform your "look" but I always know who I am and what my real face is. Don't get me wrong tho, I have those days too where I feel ugly. Oh I do have those. But it's not due to makeup for me. I just have those days, I think it has a lot to do with ones mood..

    Anyway, I don't think we would have been better off without makeup because I don't think it comes down to that. In the end it's something else, something inside that's bugging us and no amount of makeup will fix that.

    oh and FYI you are not ugly, you look very beautiful! <3

    - LS
    http://www.sephira.dk

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    1. You make some really good points! Although in my case I would not blame my parents at all. My mom has only ever worn a bit of mascara day to day. Never foundations or powders so I cant say its because of her that I feel like that sometimes.
      What I was trying to get across is that because of me wearing makeup on a daily basis, i've come to rely on my face looking a certain way. Even though I barely wear any makeup, I still like the way I feel after putting that little bit on. And what I was saying is that if I never had the opportunity to put makeup on my face, I never would have seen the difference in my face that makeup creates. Trust me i'm not hating on makeup! haha I love it. I was just having one of those days where I felt awful and you are probably totally right that it comes from something inside thats bugging me! Thankfully I don't feel like that everyday and thanks so much for commenting! :)

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  3. Are you sure I didn't write this and accidentally post it to your blog? I feel this way about makeup too. Without it, I feel so ugly. Which is sad, you know... that we feel that way about ourselves. We feel so much better with this stuff covering our face. The reason I feel ugly without makeup is because I have acne scars on my cheeks and chin, so I pretty much need the concealer and foundation to cover them up. I am actually wearing less cover up lately, in hopes that my skin will get better (caking foundation on my face probably isn't going to help clear the acne) so it's scary going out with visible scars out in public, but I hope in the long run one day I won't need that much makeup anyway because the scars will heal without all that makeup on top. omg I am writing so much, I'm sorry. :P and I agree with the girls above, you look very pretty without any makeup! :) <3

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    1. Ugh yes! I mostly worry about under eye circles and an uneven skin tone. I wish I didn't feel that way about my bare face but thats just how it is! It doesn't help when you happen to go out in public on those rare occasions with no makeup and people ask if you're sick or feeling unwell because you dont look so good! haha Just can't win!

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  4. Thank you so much for this honest post, and I definitely think that when we begin to rely on makeup and start to view our makeup-ed face as our perfect face, it really does cause our self esteem to drop, because when we then view ourselves without makeup, we feel so ugly. But I think that makeup can also be a beautiful form of expression and can also give girls a boost of confidence as well. I think the goal is to work on how we feel on the inside, and to view makeup only as an enhancer - something that turns our already beautiful face into something a bit more polished. We also should remember that when we view other women and think about how beautiful they are, they are more often then not also wearing makeup and feel exactly the same about their bare faces as insecure women do!

    Rae | Love from Berlin

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    1. You are so right! It definitely does come down to working on how we feel on the inside. I mean honestly, there are days even when i'm wearing makeup that I still don't feel too good about the way I look. I wish self-confidence was more easily attained! & thank you so much for commenting!

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  5. I definitely see where you're coming from. With all the make up out there & the contouring & everything happening, it's hard not to compare yourself. I usually wear minimal makeup & sometimes like to add a bit flair. I don't usually feel ugly without make up, but sometimes I feel little self-conscious, especially if there's some blemishes going on. :]

    // ▲ itsCarmen.com ▲

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    1. Yes, its so easy to compare! I usually only wear minimal makeup as well, I wouldn't know the first thing about contouring! haha but I just have those days sometimes :)

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