March 24, 2017

I'm Back Blog

So I almost gave up..

I almost threw in the towel and stopped blogging.

As you can see I've only posted twice this whole month (three times now including this one) and honestly, I didn't care one bit. I had no feelings whatsoever regarding this blog- good or bad. You see this past month and half hasn't been good to me at all. My anxiety reared it's ugly head once again and it grew to such a level I was afraid I wouldn't come back.

Around eight and a half months Lux stopped sleeping through the night again. Now when you first have a child you're aware they don't sleep through the night for the first few months and, while exhausting, you kind of just accept it and power through. Once the 3 to 4 month mark hits and your child finally stays asleep throughout the entire night you feel like you're in heaven. Unfortunately, there's a thing called the 8 to 10 month sleep regression that some children go through which causes them to wake multiple times throughout the night and in turn, you're up multiple times throughout the night. This usually happens because around this age your child is developing so quickly and they're learning so many new things it's kind of like their brains are wired. They don't quite know what to do with all of this new information and abilities. Throw teething on top of this and honestly, it can be a nightmare.

So because Lux wouldn't sleep through the night I was subjected to sleeping on the couch with her OR bringing her into our bed or else she'd scream all night. I'm thinking the contorted sleeping arrangements caused my costochondritis to act up and I started feeling a lot of pain on my left side. Seeing as my anxiety was already quite high by this time the added stress of feeling pain everyday caused my health anxiety to skyrocket. Most of my issues with anxiety is that when I feel pain or discomfort of any kind my mind automatically thinks the worst and I start obsessing over it and I'm convinced I'm going to die. I totally had myself convinced I had breast cancer so I went to the doctor. He said everything seemed alright and that there is never really an explanation as to why we feel tender/uncomfortable in our sides or ribs. I was a little relieved but still in pain so not totally comforted by that visit. I'm doing my best to let it go though and not obsess over my left side. I'm starting to feel a little better about it but not 100% yet. If the discomfort is still there a few weeks from now I'll be going to another doctor.

With my mind a mess with worry over my health Lux had a terrible burn accident. (I wrote about it here) So there was more stress.

I guess with this big ramble I wanted to say that I've been extremely stressed out and anxious lately and haven't felt like myself at all. But I'm slowly trying to sort my life out.

I'm trying to eat better and exercise. I've even taken dairy back out of my diet.
I'm trying to get back to feeling good.

This blog always made me feel good. So I'm not ready to give up on it yet.

I'm hoping to get back into regular posting again soon and I wanted to say thank you to any of you who stuck with me and continued to check out my blog even when there wasn't a whole lot going on with it :)

6 comments:

  1. Oh I'm so sorry you've had a rough time! Sending all the good vibes your way.
    And as long as you're coming back here to write, I'll be swinging by to read.
    Hugs
    M x

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    1. Thank you so much <3 It truly means a lot :)

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  2. I'm glad you're not giving up! I hope poor Lux is doing better!
    Hopefully we'll get some warm weather in Nova Scotia soon which might help with your mood and anxiety a little! Warm sunshine can be a great mood lifter!
    Xx
    Amanda

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    1. Oh I sure hope the warmer weather comes soon!! It definitely helps with the mood :) & thank you! She's doing wonderful :)

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  3. My best wishes and blessings for you darling
    xx

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